Louis vs. Rick • Episode 13: Louis Sinks the Sub

13: Louis Sinks the Sub

5:03 PM

RickDickens77 is now online

Lou

hey rick you made it

Yup we made it

Got to the hotel, started to unpack

And guess what we found

what

SHUT UP

YOU KNOW WHAT WE FOUND

lol yeah

youre welcome

I didn't thank you

I'm pretty steamed this time Lou

woah woah woah

thats no way to react to a thoughtful gift

We can probably get the clothes washed

But the luggage is ruined.

well pardon me for trying to give you something to remember me by

Urine? Really?

what else do i have rick

its not like i know how to take and print a photo

actually thats not true i probably could have figured that out

You are a tremendous jerk.

my bad

but think about this rick

when you packed that bag

how long were you away from it between packing it and zipping it up

I don't know, a minute maybe.

i dont know what that means but it wasnt very long

and did you smell it

Of course not, I would have done something.

exactly

What's your point

think about the effort in timing that right

it takes research rick

i had to know exactly when to sneak in there

do the business

and get out

Am I supposed to appreciate that?

Am I supposed to go OH THANKS FOR TRYING SO HARD TO PEE ON MY CLOTHES LOU

if you had a tiny shred of a soul maybe

Guess I don't then, because I'm just not seeing the upside.

you disappoint me rick

YOU disappoint ME.

Emily's bag is a disaster too

She didn't even bring it inside at the house!

im an artist rick

You're a menace.

5:53 PM

We're going to dinner. I'll deal with you later. Has Heike shown up yet?

what is a heike

I told you about the cat sitter.

and i told you i didnt need a sitter

I know, and yet here we are.

I asked her to start tomorrow, but she was going to come by this evening to spend a little time getting to know you.

well i look forward to it

Please be nice.

no seriously i cant wait

we can play some games

talk about boys

ill make us some snacks

Remember she's just helping to take care of you.

taking care of me is your job

It's one of my jobs, yes

Unfortunately, my other job has me far away, so I can't do that job.

That's why I'm paying Heike.

how much are you paying her

Doesn't matter. Gotta go.

silent auction

gotcha

7:45 PM

How's it going Lou

Lou

8:06 PM

rick this lady is nuts

i dont understand a word she says

Oh, yeah- she's German so she might sound funny to you

this isnt funny its terrifying

and wtf is german

From Germany. The country.

She knows English, she just probably doesn't think it matters to you.

it matters

i got this nutbag running around my house

chasing me with a feather on a stick

going bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap like its words but its not words rick

its not words at all

It's just a different language. Try to hang out with her, she wants to play.

8:48 PM

rick

9:06 PM

What's up

I'm getting ready for bed

rick

i think heike is dead rick

What?

rick shes dead

its awful rick

shes not moving in there

Woah, woah, woah

slow down and tell me what happened

I can call for help.

ok so i was in the pantry right

showing heike where the treats are

and shes all bap bap bap bap bap bap bap

i dont know

like baby talk or something

Get to the part where she dies, please.

so im like ok lets find some common ground right

so i try playing that game you like

Catch The Giant Breakable Thing?

I hate that game.

then why do you keep playing

Think about my choices, Lou.

anyway, go

what happened.

well she sucks at it

thats what happened

Ugh.

I'm calling 911

wait

i hear her

yeah shes talking

hang on

Is she ok?

i dont know that she was ever ok rick

she seems the same as before if thats what you mean

Ok I'm calling her

well now i dont think thats quite necessary

Too late, it's ringing.

she left already you dont need to do that

I just want to make sure she's ok.

shes driving away i can see her

Quiet.

9:28 PM

Ok, so guess what, you got your wish.

i didnt want this rick

No sitter? That's not what you wanted?

ok so technically i wanted that

Yeah. Well you got it.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

i was just playing a game rick

Several games, it sounds like.

Shred The Purse.

Pee On The Shoes And Coat, always a classic.

Ride The Hair, that's new!

its the curls

irresistible

So I'm stuck paying for a purse, a coat, a pair of shoes, a trip to the hair salon and probably an ER bill

And she didn't want to go into this one, but I'm also buying her a new bra.

we had a moment

Apparently.

did she mention the umbrella

She did not.

give it time

Needless to say, I am annoyed.

im sorry rick

No you're not.

We'll discuss it when I get home. I'm going to bed.

seems early

Emily wants me to get off the computer, and I don't intend to explain time zones to you.

oh i get it

adult time

hey why does she get to go with you and i dont

Tell you what, I'm going to go to sleep now, and you can spend the rest of my trip figuring that out for yourself.

rick

WHAT

im lonely

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